This garden update brought to you by AC/DC....

I’m just sippin on chamomile watching boys and girls and their sex appeal

Ok that's not a Lucinda lyric...it's No Doubt (blech) but it seemed appropriate.

I am glad I looked up how to harvest chamomile because it turns out I had to do it right this very instant if I was going to keep the plant healthy and it will become a daily thing through the Fall (if I don't slack). If ehow.com is right....and of course it always is... you must pick the blooms as soon as they, well, bloom. Then you must lay them in a dry, dark, warm area and let them dry out, which takes a couple of days. Then you must place these dry blossoms in a sealed jar and let them accumulate. If all goes well, in about 3 months I'll have an abundance of ready to use chamomile. A cup of these blossoms equal less than a 1/4 cup when dry so i gotta keep my pick hand strong to make this worthwhile. By picking them off of the plant daily it promotes the growth of new flowers. Got that? Good because there is a test at the end.

I planted this chamomile plant on a whim because i wanted something "flowery" in the garden to offset all the veggies. The downside of this stylistic decision is that, unlike the painfully stylized Ms. Stefani, I'm not a particularly big fan of chamomile tea. I do think i can find other uses for it though...maybe a chamomile scone or some kind of baked good. Well I have plenty of time to marinate on that idea (as Baby Bash would say) since I won't have a meaningful amount of dried blossoms for a couple of months...or will i? Time will tell.

POST READING TEST:

(if you scroll up to looks at the blog for answers I'll psychically know you were cheating and be very very disappointed in you).

1. How many cups of dried blossoms = 1 cup of fresh blossoms?

2. Blossoms should be stored, dry, dark and ____ area.

3. What craptastic British "grunge" band from the 90s is Gwen Stefani's finely chiseled husband in....and because of this should he be publicly hanged?

Lemon trees don't make a sound...

til branches bend and fruit falls to the ground. Baby, sweet baby.

So today is day #2 of my staycation. I spent the late morning doing some reconnaissance online and at Shonnards about WTF is up with the yellow leaves on my Meyer Lemon tree. Anton actually pointed them out to me and it caused great concern. My lemon tree is my second child...people ask, as "people" do, when are you having a second child? The truth is I already have a second child and it's my lemon tree. I love it...it brings me great joy...it also causes great concern and anxiety much like a human child. It doesn't wake me up at 3am or pee on the rug, so it's actually better than a real child (kidding....sort of).

So the lemon tree was ailing...and I online diagnosed it with needing fertilizer due to the yellowing inner leaves. I also know that it has been suffering from scale attacks for the last couple of months . I've been hand picking them off but they won't go away and it's highly frustrating not to mention totally gnarls in charge.

My ego got a much unneeded boost when the no nonsense lady at Shonnards agreed with me about the need for fertilizier and suggested an organic fertilizer for palm, tropical and hibiscus plants. Of all the options this one is said to provide more blooming advantages (and is also the most expensive). We'll see...but I feel like I'm being a good mommy. I'm not getting the cheap, generic formula that they sell in bulk at Home Depot...i'm getting the organic, perfect formula made with unicorn dust (as my mother would say). Just like I did with Anton, the sky's the limit when it comes to nutrition. As for the scales she said picking them off is a futile exercise as they just lay eggs and never go away unless you KILL them. So I bought the stuff that kills them. It's organic and expensive...don't judge.

Aww what cute little lemon tree..I wuv woo!!

I found these purple flowers..

My good friend who shall remain nameless except for the fact that her first name is Ilka (hope I didn't give anything away there) said that the title of my blog sounds suspiciously like a "mommy blog". The thought of that made me want to drag something sharp across my throat. Lucinda Williams Live at the Fillmore is such an amazing album and the song after which this blog is named I can assure you has nothing to do with children...haters be damned. I will continue to reference this song in my blog until I run out of ways to. On that note, let's take a look at the back and side yards shall we? I am planning on doing some major work this weekend and during my staycation on these parts.

Backyard before...they had this strange pond thingy which we turned in a firepit. Eventually I want to turn it in to a McMenamins-esque soaking pool. It WILL happen.

backyard now...Colin added lots more grass by transplanting from the front yard and finding cheap sod on craigslist.

Herb garden. Parsley, oregano, chives and sage are doing great (cilantro and dill need some help)...and it's wonderful to have them right by the kitchen so I can just walk outside and hack off a piece as needed when cooking.

Hostas are the purple flowers I speak of...they are shade dwelling perennials and do really well in Oregon apparently. These were just planted a few weeks ago and so far so good. Hopefully by next year these really come to life. This area gets neglected so I hope they can get by without much love from me...sorry guys, I'm busy.

My much adored potted Meyer Lemon tree. I will write a whole blog about this tree (control your excitement).

My favorite place to walk...the Japanese maple grove. This area really needs no improvement.

The sun facing side yard...Colin just ripped up all but one of the weird trees that were there so that we can plant a big raspberry patch. Not sure when the best time is to plant raspberries but it's probably not right now. Project for later.

Some photos to get things going

This is my first blog...I am sure I am the only person on the planet who has started a first blog by saying that. Get ready for more groundbreaking revelations along these lines dear readers. And by "dear readers" I mean me because no one else is aware I am doing this yet...consider this the "soft launch" if you will. Things will really get rolling soon...book deals, three martini lunches, publishers clamoring for my "next big idea". I'll look back fondly on these simple days, the salad days...the days of wine and roses. Roses actually aren't a flower I care for very much, at least not in my own garden. Not a big fan of lettuce either...I rarely make salads.  But I digress...here are some photos of our lovely house BEFORE we bought it and painted it and "Cigarran'd" it, followed by the starting of what I hope to be a long term project of learning how to garden, landscape and grow food. I've only just started and I have no previous background...probably because I've never had an interest until now. But now I'm obsessed...if gardening is crack then I'm a crack ho. And on that note...the first round of photos:

Front yard before...

Anton and Colin preparing the veggie garden for the first planting of fava beans (suggested by Misty to help the soil). We had just ripped up the lackluster rose garden. Pantsless gardening...Anton is a leader in this field.

The artichoke...it will get to big for this spot soon but i've already moved it twice. And now it's got that cute lil' choke growing in the middle, I don't want it harsh it's mellow. Dilemma!

Front yard beginning to take shape...i ripped up the lawn and used the debris to build those little coffin shaped hills. There may or may not be a body under there too...great for the pH of the soil. Beekman's Antiques in Corvallis thank you for that adorable rocking bench, what a steal!

Another front yard shot...that pumpkin in the foreground reminds me of Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors. It's growing so fast it's scary...again, it's those bodies, works wonders! Shh...gardening secret #1!

Front yard on the other side of the path, still major work in progress...that's an apple tree Colin wanted to plant in place of the huge tree we tore out. We tore the big tree out because it had these horrible spiky seed pods that dropped all year long much to the chagrin of barefooted children.

Sun flower, set to pop any day now! Zucchini behind it already has about 3 little guys on it and several more flowers...'bout to get BUCK up in here!

My veggie garden...has already yielded more fava beans than any 10 people could ever eat. Also harvested some great onions and garlic. Now we are waiting on the tomatoes, lemon cucumbers, peppers which are starting to pop up amongst other things (leeks, marionberries *not to be confused with the mayor of DC*, grapes, rhubarb *can't harvest until next year* , basil which is sort of doing blaah, snap peas). I pulled up most of the cauliflower and brussel sprouts. Those were a fail...too wormy and weird. Won't be planting them again.